Word Vom

Sometimes I get struck with inspiration, or have some thought I form out in my mind and think, "I have got to get this out on paper. I have got to share this." And then again, sometimes the end-all isn't to share anything. It's just to be free to process things the way I naturally would whether or not anyone else sees it. I often end up in the middle of this internal conflict over the actual point of saying anything. The culture we live in is one of overwhelming opinion. Everyone has something to say and a reason for saying it based on their own experiences and their own perspective. What is the point in adding more words to the mix? 

And, regardless, if that's the part that really concerned me, I could write things down in the privacy of my own literal journal and have nothing to worry about. (And I do.) But so often fear is my driving force. It's the voices in my head that tell me, "No one cares anyway," "You have nothing new to say," "You won't say it right," blah blah blah. It's what's going through my head now as I type, trying to figure out how to get to the point. 

Share something good... You're being vain. You're bragging. You're not accurately representing your life. You're giving people something to envy. You're lying.

Share something bad... Eye roll. You're starved for attention. Look around, your life isn't hard. You're weak. Other people have it so much worse. 

To share anything at all, in person or on the internet... are my intentions always selfish? Is it because I want some sort of validation for my self-perceived purpose? Jeesh. I don't know. Are anyone's intentions ever completely pure? 

Does that fear make it okay to be quiet? I figure we have the experiences we have for a reason. Without purpose in pain, how would any of us ever get through it? If we could never invite others into our joy, how would it ever be complete? We are people who need people, created to share our lives. To relate to and understand brokenness, and to celebrate fullness of life.  I pray for honest and true intentions. I pray against fear that promotes isolation and separation from the people I was designed to weep and rejoice with. 

Keep sharing your lives, y'all. You are worth being known.  

Bree BarelaComment